I have been experiencing massive gas attacks in the last few months. No just gas either, I'm talking methane enriched pure tee stank farts. I'm beginning to worry a little. It comes in waves and I never know when it will hit me. I was down at Billy Mack's Gas Station and Nail Salon last week, just shooting the breeze and something vile exploded from my ass. It was embarrassing as hell.
The wife knows not to ruffle the covers at night, otherwise we both may die from toxic inhalation. We go shopping at Wal-Mart and I keep reminding her to walk in front of me, for her own well being. As I spray the isles, I hear complaints in a language I don’t understand.
The one vehicle we own that has cloth seats will probably have to be burned. I’ve tried everything to get the stank out, ain’t happen’n. Finally sold it to a buddy that has no sense of smell.
I had to type this up and save it so I could post it without being in pain as I try to lock down the sneeze muscle as best I can.
Any ideas brothers?