Adoption question

[r.waddill]

The wife and I are considering adoption of a baby. We have been looking into a service they charge 1100.00 just for the initial consultation. I am curious to know what the costs are associated with adopting a child. We are both 43 and ain't gettin any younger and have the means to support child as we have none of our own.

Just curious to know if anyone has gone through this and what we can expect.

I also worry about a biological parent deciding they want the kid back? I would also be curious if any of you have adopted up to the age of four. I would prefer an infant but the wife want to explore the older route. I am just not sure how that would work out.

I really need someone to mow the grass and clean the boat and fish with and take care of me when I am old and sucking food through straw J/K

[HOTSPOT]

I applaud you for considering taking care of a child that needs it. You're a good man.

[crash1371]

There is a lot of states and I'm sure your state is one is foster care and they come from baby's to teens and they don't charge you in fact they pay you to care for the individual and most you can adopt all for free. Just a idea, just as in anything you will have to jump through there hoops wish you and your wife the best

[Kamper]

Try to join an adoption support group. They may be able to steer you to a legit adoption agency. They can also tell you the human side like what hotel in Bazerbaijan is a flea pit.

Good luck!

[OReely]

Heck, if all I have to do is wash the boat, cut the grass, and go fishing, you can adopt me! I'm a couple of years older than you but I think we could work something out.

Send picture of boat and lawn mower.

Seriously, I think anyone who adopts a child is doing a great thing but I can't understand the overseas thing. We've got lots of kids right here that need parents.

Good luck in your efforts.

[welder]

I 2nd Tim W , look into foster care too.

As far as adoption , there are lots of young girls that have had a problem and can't keep their Babies [ read you don't need a agent ] .

Check out your church for families that need help and just ask around . If you do get lucky and find a baby , GET A LAWYER to draw up the proper papers so you don't lose your child one day.

Just remember ........at your age and you adopt a baby this year , you will be 60-61 years old at a High school graduation and may be to old to enjoy grand children. This is why most people have kids in there early 20's. I'm not trying to be a RICHARD CRANIUM but this is not a game and these babies are not luggage .

We have to remember whats best for the child also , of course a good home and love for the 1st 18 yearsof the childs life is the most important .

Now don't tell anyone I was having Adult thoughts . I am 48 years old and have 3 babies in my home now as well as my Mother in law as of last week . Lets just say , it aint quite at my house, I go to work to relax.

[heaterman]

My daughter and her hubby went through Bethany Christian Services and my brother and brother in law both used Holt Adoption agency. Fantastic experience for all three of them. The wife and I went to Guatemala to bring or daughters little boy home with them. He had been with a wonderful foster family for the first nine months of his life. Watching Elaida, the foster mom, and her kids hand him over to my daughter about did me in. They really loved the little guy. I think both agencies handle domestic and foreign children. I wouldn't let age scare you off. Having a young'un terrorizing the place will keep you from getting old. Love is what it's all about.

[cataholic]

I second everything Welder said. I am 54 and had my two youngest at 43 and 45. I love them to peices and wouldn't trade them for anything, but it IS a tough job raising kids anytime, but particularly as you get older. You can surely do it, but it definitely is more of a young man's game. Now I already had two older kids so I knew what I was getting into, but my wife was nearly 40 and really did not have a clue. Been tougher on her.

Its great that you have a place in your hearts for kids. If you do it, just be prepared to change your life more or less completely. And if you don't do it for whatever reason, there are tons of ways (like your church, scouting, coaching, etc) an adult can have a positive impact on young people without adopting. And sometimes those kind of impacts can be just as important as parenting.

[Sassafras]

At the risk of being regarded as a lousy adoptive parent, my advice, after 27 years of experience, is "be careful, be very careful." Yes, you can experience serious problems with your "natural" children, even if you do everything right from pre-natal care to proper upbringing. But my anecdotal take and personal experience is that you are much more likely to encounter serious, un-anticipated problems with adoptive children. There are reasons why children are available for adoption. And these are frequently not "good" reasons.

So adopt if you will. But do it with your eyes wide open, and understand that in this crap shoot the dice might be loaded and that no amount of love and tears on your part might be enough.