I love boating just a much as the next guy, but not even I could've ever expected catching an std from fish-people. I don't want you to suffer the same consequences as I, so please heed my warning and listen to my story.
It all began with a harmless boating expedition in Mexico as I have done countless times with my best pal Mark who is a frequent poster to this forum. We looked out upon the waves one dew-filled morning. The air weighed heavy down on our backs.
>Mark: "There's a storm on the horizon... I can feel it in the air."
>Me: "Please Mark, please tell me we can still go sailing! If not, I fear I may cry a thousand tears of sorrow.
>Mark: "I could never say no to you (poopdeckfetish), let us hit those waves.
Mark and I then set sail with our eyes set upon a distant island laying upon the horizon. We departed in our vessel, nicknamed "Aslan's Crotch" because Mark stole it from illegal poachers shipping lions into the states. I'm not sure why he added 'crotch', but I'm always down. The waves crashed, and the seagulls screeched, but no noise could overpower the sound of our friendship. About twenty miles out from shore, the wind picked up speed and the storm-clouds gathered.
>Me: "I think we should turn back Mark"
>Mark: "But we are so close, we can't turn back now"
*A wave crashed against the boat and 'Aslan's Crotch' rocked 45 degrees*
>Me: "Hold me Mark"
*Mark embraced me with his thick and hairy hispanic arms*
As the night came to be, the storms swept us onto the distant island we had sought after, although our ship had technically crashed. After departing the wreckage of the crotch we searched the island for food and other inhabitants but all we scavenged was a bag of LSD. Mark and I felt as if it were unreasonable to let it go to waste, therefore we took the tabs and listened to the entirety of the new Eminem album, my vision slowly diminished into a black abyss as Mark's voice drifted away.
I awoke that night to find myself tied up in a dark cave, I heard the voice of a woman. I noticed I was naked and so was Mark. Out of the darkness a mermaid squiggled upon to us.
>Mark crying: "Why are we here?"
>Mermaid: "I heard you listening to the new Eminem album."
>Mark: "So what?"
>Mermaid: "I thought you gentlemen could use some top."
So it was, Mark and I lay getting our tallywackers sucked by a real mermaid.
>Mark: "Hey this is actually pretty nice."
*both of us simultaneously nut*
Months later during the Holiday season. Mark and I lay in the living room of my estate awaiting Christmas morning. It's been several days since we went to go get checked for an STD at the doctor as both of our dongs were growing fish scales. That morning both of our wives left as after we dropped our pants trying to initiate a holiday gang-bang. So readers, next time you are stranded on an island the only piece of advice I have for you is to not get a blowjob from a mermaid named سوبر سامانثا الحجم. Now our penises are يعرج كما اللعنة.